Nov 4, 2010

This has nothing to do with sewing

I'm terribly proud of my two-year-old when she says please, thank-you and you're welcome without any prompting from me or my husband. But even closer to my heart than her precocious politeness is her sense of humour. Just 27 months old and she's already mastered the spoof song. She's a regular Baby Yankovic. A sampling:

— "A spoonful of poop makes the medicine go down.."
— "Hey poop, don't be a poop. Take a sad poop and make it poo-oo-oop..."
— And, of course: "Twinkle, twinkle, little poop.."

I don't want to pigeonhole the girl at such a young age, but I think her genre is really potty-training-meets-Mad-Libs. Her set list would kill on the birthday party circuit.

She also has originals. Like "The Nipple Song," which goes like this: "I want to pinch, pinch. I want to pinch, pinch. I want to pinch, pinch...Mommy!"

Of course, poop and boobs are very funny.  But it can really wear you down when your boobs are the butt (heh heh) of every joke your toddler makes. Whenever I take my shirt off to change or whatever, she points at me and says, "heh heh...boobs," just like Beavis and Butthead, a pop-culture reference she's about 20 years too young for.

The funniest things kids say are often totally unrepeatable unless you're in the company of other parents who totally understand that kids are just absurd and super crude. Like the other night when I was having a bath with her (parentless friends: we're not actually a super nude hippie family. This is something you must do from time to time...say, when your toddler refuses to get in the bath even though she repeatedly ran her spaghetti-sauce-covered hands through her long blond hair during supper and she looks like Carrie — not Bradshaw, that one from the '70s covered in pig's blood). So we're in the tub and when she pokes my boob, lifting it up slightly,  I say, "What exactly are you doing, young lady?" Her reply: "I'm looking for food. Rice cakes and Snap Pea Crisps." Beat. Laughter (hers).

Now, no lady wants the kind of boobs capable of hiding stray Snap Pea Crisps. Remember in (the animated version of the graphic novel) Persepolis when two women are talking about how to tell if your boobs are crap or not: stick a pencil under your breasts. If it falls, they're great. If you can hide a bag of Snap Pea Crisps under them, you're outta luck, old lady.

Of course, she only has herself to blame.

I'm working on a new pattern today for something very fun. AND I'm going to have another giveaway very soon, though I don't want to kill the excitement by revealing any details just yet. Stay tuned.


  1. Does your new pattern involve floppy boobs? Is it the tube-sock bra for mother who have breastfed?

  2. I had a really good laugh at this - sorry, we ARE laughing with you!!



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