Running in water

I have had only two recurring dreams throughout my life. In the first I am able to do the splits, which always leads me to believe, upon waking, that I actually can do the splits. That up until now, even through all my years of ballet as a child, it was my own disbelief in my abilities that kept me from being truly flexible. But, of course, I am not flexible and never have been. I cannot do the splits - no matter how hard I believe.

In the other dream I am trying to accomplish some task but minor obstacles and the accelerating march of time conspire to keep me from getting anything done. For example, I'm waitressing and my table orders four lattes, which take me so long to make that the customers have left by the time I return with their drinks.

That's how I feel this week: like everything I need to do is taking me far to long to finish.

Part of the problem is multitasking, which I've long thought to be an admirable skill, but now I know is just a bullshit word for "unfocused." After reading the chapter on "unitasking in A.J. Jacobs' "My Life as an Experiment," I realized what I thought was multitasking was just doing shitty job at a bunch of different thing all at the same time. Now if my husband starts talking to me while I am trying to get through an automated phone system, I hang up, listen to what he has to say and then tell him to call TimeWarner and ask why our bill went up $9 this month. (Seriously, did they think I would not notice? Maybe the old multitasking me, but not the new, totally focused me).